Questions to help parents reconnect with kids after school

A viral post on TikTok is prompting parents to start their own after-school “mini rituals” to reconnect with their kids after a long day. In the video, user @queenn_gee shares how she reconnects with her child after a school day.

She and her son do a quick 1-minute check-in about his day, using the same questions each day. As part of their daily routine, her child always knows what to expect which can help create a sense of safety. The check-in is also a good way to rebuild the parent-child connection after being separated for the day.

Vague questions like “How was your day?” tend to fall flat with kids, especially after a long day of school. This mom recommends asking more specific questions to learn about how your child experienced their day and what feelings or stressors might still be with them.

She also recommends tailoring your questions to your child’s specific interests, grade-level, or school setting. For example, her child attends a religious school, so she includes some faith-based questions in their check-in. This 1-minute daily check-in includes the following questions:

“What was the best part of your day?”
“What was the worst part of your day?”
“What is something really fun that you did today?”
“What is something helpful or nice that your teacher or one of the other staff at the school said to you or did for you today?”
“What is something nice or helpful that you said or did for one of your friends?”
“What is something kind that one of your friends said to you or did for you?”
“What is something new that you learned today?”

It’s also helpful to consider the setting and timing of your check-in, since kids are likely to be overstimulated right after school or daycare, and may need some time to decompress before answering questions.

For more questions to ask your kids to foster connection, check out the following resources: