Nearly a quarter of undergraduate college students, and almost a third of graduate students, are parents. Student-parents are often highly motivated to succeed in school, but they face unique challenges including childcare, housing, financial and time constraints that can make it more difficult to complete a degree.
Even though they tend to earn higher grades on average than other college students who are not parents, parenting students can also have trouble completing their degree programs because of the additional life obligations they’re dealing with. Student-parents are more likely to be low-income and working full-time than the average undergraduate student. But these barriers can be overcome when there are stronger support systems and resources for students who have kids to care for.
When you’re motivated to pursue a degree, it can be one of the best things you do for yourself and your family. If you’re a student-parent, or thinking about becoming one, here are some things to keep in mind to make the experience as rewarding as possible.
Ask about on-campus support for student-parents
When selecting a college or university, it’s worth looking into what support programs exist for student-parents, adult students, and other non-traditional students. Even if you’re already enrolled, there could be resources you don’t yet know about. Besides affordable tuition and financial aid concerns, here are some of the factors to consider in a school:
Convenient childcare: Thanks to federal funding through the CCAMPIS (Child Care Access Means Parents in School) program, many colleges have on-campus daycares or preschools, or can connect you with affordable childcare nearby. The University of Michigan is one stand-out example, even offering in-home childcare options and family helpers.
Housing options: Many schools offer family-friendly housing options such as apartments for those who want to live on or near campus with their kids. Some even have specific housing for new parents — for example, the College of Saint Mary in Nebraska offers the Mothers Living & Learning program, with a suite-style dorm and community for single moms of infants.
Community of student-parents: Many colleges support the unique needs of their student-parents with groups, mentoring, or resource centers specifically for them. Endicott College in Massachusetts, for example, boasts a Single Parent Services program with access to career and academic coaching, financial aid for tuition and textbooks, mentors, workshops, and parent groups. They even host a Parent Scholar Recognition Ceremony.
Child-friendly amenities: If you’re expecting or raising an infant, ask about campus amenities such as lactation rooms and diaper changing stations. If you have older kids, check whether there are perks like after-school activities or free museum access for students’ kids. Some campuses, such as St. Catherine University in Minnesota, even have playrooms that are attached to study spaces.
Food assistance: Many schools offer resources for students and families facing food insecurity. At Auburn University in Alabama, an on-campus food pantry is open to any student, regardless of financial need. At Misericordia University in Pennsylvania, the Women With Children Program provides free children’s meals on campus, as well as many other incentives for families.
Mental health support: Most college and graduate students get stressed, but as a student who’s also a parent, the stress is likely to feel overwhelming at times. Be sure to look into what your college offers in terms of mental health counseling services or peer support groups.
If your school doesn’t offer specific support for students who are parents, you can also look into national or local programs. For example, the Generation Hope Scholar Program supports young parents who want to attend college in three geographical regions: Washington DC, New Orleans, and Dallas-Fort Worth.
Get your friends and family on board
Make sure your friends and family know why going to college is so important to you, and that they also know that you still love and care about them even if you’re going to be extra busy with school for a while.
Tell your close friends and family that you expect to be stressed during the academic year — and that you’re wondering if you can reach out to them for support. Discuss which ways they might be willing to help. Some friends/family members might be better suited to different methods of support, such as:
- Being a listening ear when you need to vent
- Babysitting or spending time with your kids
- Helping you with food shopping or car maintenance
- Quizzing you on information before a test
- Sending you music to de-stress or study to
- Inviting you over for a meal
Have a discussion with members of your household about what can be taken off of your plate temporarily. Even kids, if they’re old enough, can learn to contribute more to the household, and take over chores like making their own lunch or doing laundry.
If you have school-aged children who have their own homework, tests, and other goals to work towards, you can also provide inspiration and support to each other. While you work through school, you’ll be setting a great example with time management, hard work, and persistence.
Come up with a self-care plan
Taking care of yourself is not easy when you’re a parent, or when you’re a student. Wearing both hats at the same time can make it even more challenging to carve out time and energy for yourself. That’s why being intentional about self-care is key.
Here are some examples of simple ways to make your life run a little smoother as a student-parent:
- Before each semester starts, come up with plans for easy, healthy meals so you won’t be scrambling each day/week during school.
- Find places where you can study outdoors on nice days so you can calm your nerves and get some fresh air.
- Make (or find) a pump-up playlist for yourself to put on when you need a boost, and a calming playlist for when you need to relax before bed.
- If you can, stock up on things like toiletries and baby supplies before each semester starts to give yourself a cushion.
- Go through your phone to delete unnecessary apps or turn off notifications that will be a distraction to you.
- If you do decide to keep social media, be sure that you’re following people who will motivate you and make you feel seen, not bring you down. You can specifically look for hashtags like #StudentParent, #StudentMom, #StudentDad, and #CollegeWithKids.
- Practice phrases you can use to advocate for yourself with professors, administrators, or fellow students when you need extra flexibility or understanding due to your family situation.
Going to college or graduate school as a parent who has a lot of family obligations is far from easy — but it can also be extra rewarding for you and your family. Know that you’re definitely not alone, and that you’re setting an admirable example for your kids as they grow up!
