Ongoing, honest conversations from a young age can help your child develop a healthy relationship with their body. If you have a boy, there are some common bodily occurrences that your kid will need to know about, but that might be a bit awkward to discuss.
If your kid is already hitting puberty, follow our guide to discussing bodily changes and topics like sexual consent. For more specific questions about why a penis changes size and how to handle wet dreams, see the handy scripts below.
Topics like this may seem embarrassing at first, but it’s important to give your kid the facts from a young age. If they see you’re comfortable talking about it, they’ll be more likely to talk to you about it again in the future when they have (maybe more mature) questions.
How to explain why a penis changes size
Erections can happen at any age for boys, and are not necessarily linked to sexual thoughts. However, they are likely to occur much more frequently as boys begin puberty.
The following script works for any age, but if your son is going through puberty, you can also expand the conversation to reassure them that unpredictable, involuntary erections are normal at this age.
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Make the experience relatable: “A person’s body changes throughout the day. Like, when you’ve had a tasty dinner and your belly is full, you probably notice that it expands and gets a little bigger.”
Provide biologically true information: “Your penis experiences changes throughout the day, too. When your penis looks more firm, or more like a stick, it’s called having an erection. It just means that more blood has made its way there.”
Keep it body-positive: “It’s totally normal. You’ll sometimes have an erection because you’re excited, curious, or just because you’re waking up. And sometimes you’ll have one because our bodies do things all on their own.”
Establish yourself as a resource: “It can be surprising when we notice our bodies looking or feeling different from what we’re used to, right? I’m glad you asked, and know that you can always come to me with any questions that come up in the future.”
How to explain wet dreams or nocturnal emissions
When your son starts puberty, he’ll experience new physical changes that might feel confusing or embarrassing. One of these changes is wet dreams, also called nocturnal emissions.
Here’s a script to help you have this important conversation with confidence and care.
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Set the stage: “I want to talk to you about something — it can be kind of awkward for parents and kids, but it’s important, so I’m going to take about one minute to explain some stuff, and then you can ask me anything you want. If you want this to be over after one minute that’s totally fine, but you can still ask questions later.”
Normalize the experience: “During puberty, most — but not all — boys have wet dreams, or ‘nocturnal emissions.’ It’s when your body releases semen while you’re sleeping. It’s completely normal and natural.”
Explain what’s happening: “It’s just part of your body changing and adjusting as you mature. So, sometimes you might wake up and notice your pajamas or sheets are wet. It happens without you controlling it.”
Provide practical advice: “If (or when) it happens, you can just put your pajamas or sheets in the hamper. Or I can show you how to do your own laundry if you’d rather. Also, some boys find it helps to shower in the morning rather than at night.”
Offer ongoing support: “OK, I know this might feel awkward to talk about, but I want you to know these changes are healthy signs your body is developing normally. You can always ask me questions about anything you’re experiencing or wondering about. So, do you have any questions about this or anything else?”
