Are you worried about what types of content your son is being influenced by online?
Research by Common Sense Media shows that 73 percent of boys are getting served “how to be a manly man” content, even though two in three boys aren’t looking for this content. Because of the way social media algorithms work, a kid looking for a sense of belonging or advice can quickly have their feeds polluted with weapons, get-rich-quick schemes, muscle-building workouts, and inappropriate “jokes” or memes about women.
What can parents do about it?
If we approach our kids with fear or anger, odds are they’ll just learn that they need to hide their online lives from us. And if we avoid the topic completely, we leave them vulnerable to harmful influences that offer simple “answers” to complex feelings.
Having thoughtful, non-judgmental conversations about what they’re encountering online can:
- Build critical thinking skills they need to question harmful content
- Create a safe space where they can process confusing messages
- Maintain your connection as their trusted guide through the digital world
- Help them recognize manipulation tactics used by extremist content creators
This doesn’t have to be a big, dramatic intervention — just a few thoughtful words over time can make all the difference!
To help you get started, here are three things to say to your son to help promote healthy masculinity and prevent online radicalization:
- “I’m curious about what you’re watching online. What creators do you like or make the most sense to you right now?”
By showing genuine interest rather than fear or judgment, you create space for your son to share what’s actually influencing him, making it easier to address concerning content before it takes root.
- “Where’s a place/people who make you feel like you belong, or like you have something important to contribute?”
Feelings of belonging, purpose, and identity are legitimate needs — needs that extremist groups exploit. Talk to your son about healthy alternatives for fitting in, finding acceptance, and connecting with peers.
- “Being a good guy isn’t about dominating others or being ‘alpha’ — it’s about having the courage to be kind and stand up for what’s right.”
This directly counters toxic messaging about masculinity that often opens a gateway to extremism. By reframing “strength” as moral courage rather than dominance, you’re offering an alternative vision of manhood that’s both appealing and healthy.
Remember, these conversations work best when they happen regularly in small doses. By staying engaged and curious about your son’s online world, you’re building the relationship that will help him navigate it safely.
