With increasing visibility of immigration enforcement actions across the country, and stories about ICE leading the headlines almost daily, children are naturally going to hear about it and have concerns for their safety and the safety of their friends and families.
Kids might pick up on the stress of adults in their lives, overhear conversations, see things at school, or scroll past posts about ICE online. When parents don’t address it, children may fill in the blanks with their imagination, which can make their anxiety worse.
How to approach a conversation about ICE with kids
Parents don’t need all the perfect answers—it’s more important to be present, honest, and reassuring. A calm demeanor will help them feel safe, even when the world feels uncertain. Once you’ve checked in with yourself and feel calm and present, you can start to open up a dialogue with your child about their concerns.
What you can say to young kids (age 4-7) about ICE:
- Find out what they already know: “Lots of people are talking about this, so it makes sense you’d be curious. What did you hear?”
- Keep it simple: “Some people who work for the government are looking for people and taking them away from their homes and families. It’s upsetting and scary for a lot of people.”
- Reassure them that they’re safe: “My job is to keep you safe, and there are lots of grown-ups—teachers, our neighbors, friends—who are working together to keep families safe, too.”
- Keep their routines as normal as possible: “We’re going to keep doing all our normal stuff—going to Grandma’s, playing with friends, having fun together. That won’t change, okay? And we can always talk about this more any time you want.”
For younger kids, it’s all about simplicity and reassurance. While it may feel difficult to assure kids of their safety when there are so many news stories coming out about kids and parents being treated inhumanely by ICE, it can be counterproductive for children this young to be aware of every risk. What they should take away from the conversation is that the trusted adults in their lives will do everything they can to keep them safe.
What you can say to school-aged kids (age 8-12) about ICE:
- Acknowledge what’s happening: “You might be hearing about ICE at school or seeing things online. ICE stands for Immigration and Customs Enforcement—they work for the government and are supposed to make sure people who want to come to the U.S. follow immigration laws. Right now, some people think ICE has gone too far—stopping people who haven’t done anything wrong just because of how they look, and sometimes separating families. That can feel really scary and sad, especially for kids and parents, which is why a lot of families are upset and worried.”
- Ground in the truth: “People have been moving to find safety and better lives for thousands of years. That’s how humans have always taken care of their families. That’s why our community is full of people from lots of different places, and that’s part of what makes it special.”
- Validate their feelings: “But ICE has gotten more and more aggressive, and what we’re seeing now is really hurting people. It makes sense to feel scared or confused. A lot of people are feeling that way, including adults.”
- Focus on what they can control: “What helps right now is being kind to our neighbors and checking on our friends. And, you can always come to me with questions or if you’re worried about anything.”
Older kids can handle a little more context and hard truth, but it’s still important not to give them more information than they really need. Frame the conversation as a way to reflect on your values as a family, rather than giving them all of the upsetting details.
What you can say to teens 13 and older about ICE:
- Be direct: “I know you’re seeing what’s happening. It’s intense, we should talk about it.”
- Discuss accountability: “A lot of what’s happening doesn’t feel right—families being separated, people being stopped without any clear reason, even violence against peaceful community members. When anyone uses force unfairly, including law enforcement, that needs to be called out.”
- Validate feelings and values: “Anger, stress, feeling helpless or scared—those are all understandable. I really appreciate how much you care about our community, and about fairness and safety.”
- Channel feelings into action: “Some people, including kids and students, are channeling those feelings into helping neighbors—dropping off groceries, offering rides, organizing, speaking out. There are ways to be part of the solution.”
- Keep your door open: “I know I don’t have all the answers, but I’m here to talk whenever you need. And seriously—try to balance what you’re seeing on social media with breaks. Constant exposure to the news isn’t helping anyone, including you. Deal?”
Teens across the country have been speaking out against the unlawful actions of ICE. At this age, kids are becoming more politically aware, and more tuned into current events, so giving them outlets to channel their feelings into positive action can make them feel more empowered.
Assessing the impacts of current events on your child’s mental health
During the course of your conversation, it’s a good idea to tune into your child’s body language and mood to get a read on how their concerns about ICE and immigration enforcement have been impacting their mental health. Look for the following signs of anxiety:
- Emotional signs: Nightmares, sadness, worry
- Behavioral signs: Avoiding school, changes in eating
- Physical signs: Headaches, stomachaches, insomnia
- Cognitive signs: Trouble focusing, forgetfulness
If these changes are short-term, reassure your child with calmness, routines, and emotional support. If symptoms continue for more than a couple of weeks or get worse, consult with your child’s pediatrician or a mental health professional.
If you live in or are part of a community that’s experiencing an aggressive ICE presence, make sure your child knows what your family’s plan is if separated or detained and teach them their rights—even children have the right to refuse to open the door, refuse to answer questions by saying “I wish to remain silent,” and refuse to be searched without a warrant.
