Are you breaking any negative generational cycles with your parenting?
Generational trauma refers to negative behavioral cycles that are passed down from one generation to the next — due to unhealed traumatic experiences in the past.
But healing generational trauma can have positive effects on your family for generations to come. The vast majority of parents today are making an effort to raise their kids differently than they were raised, and to lead with connection and empathy rather than aggression or dominance.
In fact, a recent study from the University of Virginia found that when parents respond to their child’s needs with empathy and kindness, their kids learn to more effectively recognize and respond to needs they observe in others.
In the long-term study, published in the journal Child Development, the researchers started by observing 13-year-olds and their parents in the lab. First, they analyzed the teens’ mothers responses when the teens asked them for help with a problem. Then, throughout the teen years, they observed as the teens’ friends asked them for help with a problem. The more connected and empathetic the mothers had originally been with their teens, the more empathetic those teens were with their friends.
Then, years later, when those original teens were old enough to have children of their own, they completed additional assessments about their own parenting and about their kids’ behavior and social-emotional skills. The more supportive and empathetic they were as teens, the more supportive and empathetic they became as parents. And that led to their kids demonstrating greater levels of empathy as well!
In other words, respectful parenting (which some may call warm parenting, gentle parenting, positive parenting, peaceful parenting, etc.) actually plays a significant role in creating kind humans! Frequently giving and receiving kindness can really change the trajectory for a family that’s been dealing with difficult patterns of generational trauma.
Here are just a few of the positive ripple effects that can come from healing generational trauma through gentle parenting:
- The parents make the choice to break the cycle of trauma. Through lots of practice and mindfulness, they instill a culture of empathy in the family.
- The kids are raised in emotional safety and learn to treat others with empathy and respect.
- Other people in the kids’ lives, like friends and classmates, build healthy relationships with them because of their kindness and empathy.
Many current parents may not have an example of emotionally supportive parenting from their own childhoods — and breaking those negative generational cycles certainly isn’t easy. For more resources on how to start positive generational cycles by leading with empathy and respect in your parenting, see:
