When your kids are little, puberty and sex ed might seem like far-off topics, but they come up faster than you think! Younger children often have questions about their (and others’) bodies — plus, many kids start turning into “tweens” earlier than parents are expecting.
Whether you currently have a young kid, a preteen, or a teen, there are many conversations you need to be prepared to have about bodies, puberty, consent, or how babies are made. Follow this guide for resources, expert advice, and parenting scripts to help you navigate these inevitable parenting challenges as your kids grow up.
How to explain puberty to kids
Puberty can be a challenging time for kids and parents alike. Before their bodies change, and as they’re going through changes, reassurance and information from their grownups about all of the physical changes and the feelings that come with them are crucial.
Follow this general conversation guide for introducing puberty to boys or girls:
You’ll find more specific guidance about girls’ and boys’ physical development in the sections below.
Talking about periods
Kids of every sex and gender will need to know about periods — whether they’ll be directly affected or simply to support a friend or loved one, now or in the future. And moms and dads can have those conversations!
Here are some resources for preparing preteens for their first period, and explaining menstruation to all kids:
- 5 ways to prepare your preteen for their first period
- Scripts for Parents: First period (for dads)
- Scripts for Parents: Explaining menstruation to younger kids
- Scripts for Parents: Understanding periods (for sons)
Talking about boys’ and girls’ body parts
It may be uncomfortable for some parents, but parents of all genders need to be able to discuss topics like breasts and penises so that kids are prepared for changes and so that they have someone trustworthy to come to (and clear language to use) if they have problems or questions.
Here are some suggested scripts for kids of all ages:
- Scripts for Parents: Using real names for private parts
- Scripts for Parents: Why do boys and girls have different private parts?
- Scripts for explaining wet dreams (nocturnal emissions) and why a penis changes shape/size
- Scripts for Parents: Understanding breast development
- How to respond if your kid asks, “Why can boys go shirtless?”
Teaching kids and teens about sex and reproduction
When it comes to sexual health, dating, consent, pregnancy and reproduction, kids and teens need a lot of guidance. Many parents may be unsure of how to talk about these topics in age-appropriate ways, but giving information in small doses as your kids grow up is key. The goal is to help them feel somewhat comfortable talking about these topics with you, so that they can continue to come to you as they get older.
Here are some general resources to start with for all ages:
- What to include in “the talk” at every age
- How to talk to kids about consent (starting at ANY age)
- How to answer the inevitable question, “Where do babies come from?”
For teens who may be considering sex or relationships in the near future, here are additional conversation guides:
- How to talk to teens about safe sex and consent
- Script for talking to teens about reproductive freedom
- 7 things to teach preteens and teens about healthy relationships and dating
- Don’t approve of the person your teen is dating? Here’s how to handle it
These days, talks about sex can’t be complete without some online safety guidelines, so here are some important guides to keeping kids and teens safe in the digital realm:
- Your kids will come across porn online. Here’s how to talk about it
- What to do when your child shares explicit material: A step-by-step guide
- Scripts for Parents: Talking about sextortion
- What parents can say to kids to protect them from online grooming
None of these topics are easy, but they’re all important to address as kids grow up. Hearing the information from you in a nonjudgmental space can be incredibly empowering and help keep them safe, even if your kids act like they don’t want you to talk about it in the moment. For more supporting resources that kids can read as they grow, check out Common Sense Media’s list of books about puberty.
